remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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