morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
