I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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