So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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