i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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