White coat. Heels.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
