weddingsv make me drug and hornr
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
