By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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