I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
