I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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