I bet he comes in French.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize