I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize