i don't like sucking hair
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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