He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
