I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
