He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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