need another drink. this is the easiest way
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
