Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Found the puke drawer
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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