We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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