is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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