Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My dick has a subreddit
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
