she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
