I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
