Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
