I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
