so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
