so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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