If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
