3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
