plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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