it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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