One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
