We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
a search helicopter?!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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