8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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