Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
