I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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