Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
