Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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