I just cut my nipple shaving
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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