Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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