Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
