Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
did i walk over a car last night?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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