DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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