she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
