A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
