I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
