i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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