Sorry, I don't speak sober.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
