it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
