he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize
