google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
