My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize