I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize