come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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