return my video game
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
