Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize