can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize