very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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