he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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